THERE ARE COUPLES staying together because they don’t have enough assets to share in a divorce, but for others love recession-style means splitsville. We hear there are rampant breakups in post-crash London with many super attractive, money-hungry wives dumping their husbands, who have lost their fortunes, for another try at the marriage sweepstakes.

HIGH PROFILE SOCIAL TYPES, ignoring “for better or worse,” have made the divorce rate soar. Selfish wives leaving their newly unemployed mates are the norm. Sandra Davis, the divorce lawyer who was hired by Princess Diana and Jerry Hall, is quoted in W magazine saying her waiting room is jammed with “well-maintained women“ who don’t want to lose the perks of lavish lifestyle and want to get out there and find another, wealthier husband or Sugar Daddy.

SOME HUSBANDS ARE TO BLAME FOR CREATING TROPHY WIVES who now believe they are so special they can’t hang around for better financial times, or help their besieged mates by taking a job or by cutting down on their spendthrift ways.

IF THERE ARE ASSETS LEFT, wives bailing out can really score. One of the most expensive divorces ever was that of Craig and Wendy McCaw. She got a $460 million fortune. It was in Nextel stock and it later lost value in the telecommunications meltdown.

CHICAGO’S MOST RECENT MAJOR MONEY DIVORCE was that of Maya and Michael Polsky. The judge split their marital estate of $370 million and gave each half. They had been married for 30 years.

BILLIONAIRES HAVE PAID OUT BIG BUCKS so they could be free to chase their dreams of the ultimate soulmate. Surely she must be a heavenly combination of Megan Fox, Mother Teresa, Paula Dean, Jennifer Lopez and Michelle Obama.

THRICE-DIVORCED BILLIONAIRES WHO SHELLED OUT for their freedom include: our Ted Field, from the Marshall Field dynasty; John Kluge; Ron Perelman; Ted Turner; Larry Ellison; Edgar Bronfman Sr.; and Kirk Kerkorian.

IF A COUPLE IS BATTLING—bitter, vindictive and hell-bent on divorce—the amount of assets will not matter, legal eagles tell us. But it is always prudent to factor in tax returns, income situation, co-mingled property, etc., before taking the final step to dissolve a union.

CHICAGO PIT-BULL DIVORCE LAWYER KURT MULLER reports that he’s seeing more men coming in to end their marriages because their wives have cheated on them. Many have lost everything so they feel they might as well get rid of a rotten spouse and live a better life without her. They have nothing else to lose.

MEN’S LIBIDOS HAVE SUFFERED with economy-related stress, anxiety and depression. If a marriage is not rock solid, feelings of inadequacy can cause personality problems, anger or hostility as men feel guilty for their loss of financial security. It doesn’t help to learn your wife has cheated, seeking a more attractive, perhaps richer male animal.

PITY THE KIDS. Pity the trapped men and women who must face devastating divorce with fewer assets, fewer dreams.

WHO ARE THE HANDSOME COUPLE who stayed together because their beloved dog was sick and dying? The darling pooch died after eight months, and by then the couple were so close in their attempts to keep their pet happy, they reconnected. Love was the result of their unselfish devotion to their 14-year-old dog. He’s wagging his tail in heaven.

WHO IS THE RICH TYCOON who invites “the crew that keeps me alive and well” to an annual thank-you dinner with his guests? Mr. Grateful invites his personal trainer, his banker, his internist, his oncologist, his dentist, his eye doctor, his podiatrist, his stock broker, his masseuse, his accountant, his cardiologist, his wife, his housekeeper, his barber, his tailor, (no mistress that we know of), his personal assistant, his condo concierge, and the owner of his favorite restaurant.

GORGEOUS ACTRESS NICOLE KIDMAN, who charmed everyone when she came here to accept a film award, has been dedicated to helping women less fortunate. She jetted to Kenya on a mission to end violence against women on behalf of a United Nations Development Fund for Women. A large percentage of Kenyan females have been physically abused, raped, and some mutilated and murdered. And Nicole gave a speech before the UN in New York City about women’s rights. The stunning spokesman for “her sisters” admits that Hollywood is somewhat to blame because in films women are often depicted as weak sex objects and vulnerable to violence.

THE FABLED PUMP ROOM in the Ambassador East is no more as we knew it, and so many of us have stories about the posh watering hole. We first saw our husband there, dancing and kissing a girlfriend we knew was divorced. So we knew the man was single. We met a few days later and the rest is history. ... PIANIST AND ORCHESTRA LEADER STANLEY PAUL played there for years, since 1964, and he met and became friends with stars such as Judy Garland, Lauren Bacall, Bette Davis, Ethel Merman, Gloria Swanson, Phyllis Diller (before her first facelift), Lucille Ball, Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and Liberace, to drop a few famous names. ... MY PHOTO WITH CLARK GABLE was on the wall with the hundreds of other photos. Everybody adored dining in the Pump Room and seeing the rich and famous, and movie stars and politicians, and the wannabees, the socially inept and the exquisite young girls awed by the whole swank scene. And Kup was in Booth One and look over there. Is that Marshall Field? It was heaven.

MAKE A NOTE NOT TO MISS the Message of Hope gala for UNICEF on April 17 at the InterContinental. The event chairman is Christopher Baldwin of Credit Suisse.

MARKING ITS 80TH YEAR, the Music Institute of Chicago will party at the Four Seasons on May 11. Yo-Yo Ma and John Bryan will receive awards with Joan Harris and Cindy Pritzker. The Dushkin Prize is named for founders Dorothy and David Dushkin. Bryan, Irving Harris (posthumously), Joan and Cindy are praised for their help in the creation of Millennium Park. Chairmen are the John Nicholses, the William Osborns, David Speer, the Wilbur Gantzes, the Jeffrey Danoffs and the Gerhard Bettes.

PETER ROGERS INSISTS THAT ONE OF THE REASONS for poor academic performance by Chicago Public School kids is the shortened schedule: 170 days instead of 180; teachers have two weeks of extra time off; schools start 45 minutes later than the national average. He says studies indicate pupils need an additional 90 minutes a day, which can be accomplished with a longer school day.

WHAT’S RED AND WHITE AND ATTRACTS 500? The April 9 Steppenwolf Auxiliary Council gala at eco-chic Salvage One, 1840 W. Hubbard St. Red and White Ball chairmen are Alecia Dantico, Loren Johnson and Laura Schalekamp. Tickets are $125 and provide access to theatrical events for students, teacher and families.

JERRY PRITIKIN, CUBS BLEACHER PREACHER, is thrilled that Andre Dawson made it to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Jerry has been boosting Andre since 1987 when he was quoted in Sports Illustrated. “Everybody says he’s awesome,” said Pritikin, “because it rhymes with Dawson. However, even if his name was Schwartz he would still be awesome.”

YOU CAN PUBLISH A BOOK FOR UNDER $1,000, says Keith Ogorek of Author Solutions, who offers professional designing and distribution from major bookstores. And you don’t have to write the Great American Novel. Your book can tell the world about a worthy cause or a social issue. You can pen a family history for family and friends. Reg Green, for example, turned to writing a book to raise awareness of organ donation after his son was murdered and his organs saved the lives of seven people. He published The Gift That Heals through AuthorHouse and has sold tens of thousands. Visit www.authorsolutions.com for more information.

THE SARAH SIDDONS SOCIETY WILL BE DINING and then attending a performance of Billy Elliot at the Oriental Theatre on April 15. Donna Atwater is in charge.

BROADWAY BARKS is the title of a kids’ doggie book penned by actress/singer Bernadette Peters who says she loves animals. Her book takes its title from a benefit for dogs that she and pal Mary Tyler Moore have held annually in New York City. It is a concert to promote animal shelter adoption. Bernadette has two shelter mutts she is mad about -- Stella and Kramer. Chicagoans who want small dogs for pets but cannot get them accepted by their condo boards should shout Peters’ message. “People in apartments ... appreciate pets more because they don’t have that sensibility of, ‘Oh, he’s just a dog and he stays outside. ... It takes effort. You have to walk the dog and be on a schedule (great for getting seniors outside). But then you have this wonderful pet to come home to.” The health advantage of having a pet to care for is universally accepted.

WEDDING GOWNS, ACCESSORIES and all that good stuff will star in a Costume Council exhibit, “I Do! Chicago Ties the Knot,” opening May 22 at the Chicago History Museum. The history and tradition with religion, culture, family custom and nostalgia will make this showcase a must-see. According to Noren Ungaretti, Laura Sawchyn and Heather Farley, there will be 45 diverse wedding ensembles dating back to the city’s founding. A special luncheon May 21 will preview the show.

GREEN PORNO, a series of short films about the sex lives of animals that highlights environmentalism, is the latest achievement from movie star Isabella Rossellini, encouraged by Robert Redford. She made them for the Sundance Channel. There’s also a book about the series that includes a DVD of the documentaries. When Isabella was a little girl in Rome, she had pets, which she adored. At 57 she went to New York University and began to design a program on animal behavior. She writes, produces and acts in her films and often dresses like an insect or animal and acts out its mating ritual. Asked about how she keeps looking young, she asserts she doesn’t do anything special but has been upset by gaining weight by eating what she likes. Wrinkles? She has a few but doesn’t care. That’s real Green Porn.

BIG FEET MADE HER FIND A NEW CAREER. KATHLEEN KERRIGAN started KK Shoes for women sizes 10 and larger because she couldn’t find styles she found attractive and comfortable. Now they beat a path to her door, so to speak, wearing her shoes.

APRIL 15 is the date of the preview night for 10th Chicago Botanic Garden Antiques and Garden Fair with honorary chairman Alessandra Branca. Co-chairmen are Cathy Busch, Betsy Karp and Alison McNally. The fair lasts April 16 through 18.

IS BEING SINGLE FUNNY? It is to local comedienne Debbie Sue Goodman, who gets laughs in her stand-up routines based on two books she wrote: Still Single and Still Dating. A pretty brunette, she keeps ‘em giggling and gets males’ attention, but so far she’s still available. Debbie Sue has been an extra in many movies made here and she’s a popular radio and TV guest. And she’s a better comic than Paula Poundstone, in our opinion.

HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN. Was White House social lioness Desiree Rogers gently pushed out of her prestigious job? Maybe, but the good news is she may be reuniting with an old flame.

FRIENDS OF PHILANTHROPIC Clyde and Siobhan Engle were shocked to read about their legal woes. They have donated a fortune to local charities. The Engles owned this newspaper in the 1990s before selling it to Conrad Black of the Sun-Times.



WERE WE NASTY to write about Sarah Jessica Parker’s less than lovely looks? Reader Anne Crain admonished us for our mean words, so we add that SJP is “an original” and does have style.

Sarah Jessica Parker debuted her new thinner, less bulbous nose at the Academy Awards.

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN but that’s small comfort for Betty Orlandino, whose beloved Sweet Pea died in New York City traffic after her dog walker dropped her leash.

“A LITTLE PUBLIC SCANDAL is good once in a while. It takes the tension out of the news.” — Beryl Pfizer

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